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How to Say No

How to say no.

Absolute strength comes from the ability to implicitly trust one’s inner knowing. Friends and acquaintances may ask of us more than we can do. Are you doing things for your family that robs them the learning process of doing it themselves? Do you fall asleep from feeling drained by the “needs” of others? Often times many people (though unconsciously) use the assistance of other peoples’ energy to move through the world. As a result, these adults end up with the inability to create their own drive. You are not responsible for other people’s choices. You are responsible for your choices and the examples that you set for your family.

Who do you want to be?

Taking time for ourselves is less selfish than we think. Saying no to something or admitting it is not a right fit brings definition to who you are. Otherwise, you become a moldable blob existing to shape yourself around the needs of others.

Being approached with a business proposition that doesn’t match with your mission? Business can be one of the most common places we blur our boundaries. Many times, we do this in order to get approval or our daily needs met. When we blur the lines however, it often ends up hurting us in the long run. A business without a core intention or value system becomes confusing to the clients.

Who do you really want to attract and what partnerships will enhance that attraction? Saying no to a bad offer creates room for what you truly want. If your energy and time is taken up with things that don’t really match your values, there is no room for the things that really align with you to come in.

This applies to life in general really.

Family can be a unique beast unto itself. Asking ourselves why we are allowing draining family members to fill up our time can bring up some interesting answers. We as humans have had the innate call to be a part of a tribe nearly as far back as we have existed. Now, we are in a special era where we no longer rely on each other to survive in the same way that we once had. You are now fully able to choose how you wish to participate with your family. Ask yourself: What is in the highest good of all?

Saying no to ourselves. One of the most deceptive, conniving, and harsh people we know can be ourselves. How you talk to yourself and think about yourself on a daily basis sets up the structure of how other people treat you. If other people demand of you the same unrealistic things you already try to demand of yourself, your brain begins to see it as “realistic and normal”. These habits lay the foundation for burn out, anxiety attacks, unknown physical disorders and much more. Understanding the origins of our personal belief systems and thought patterns brings awareness to the unconscious systems we have set up within ourselves. Saying no to ourselves when we slip into self-deprecating patterns tells the brain that this kind of treatment is no longer acceptable.

Saying no in our lives is just as important as knowing how to say yes. Saying yes and taking that leap into the unknown is what jumpstarts us into growth. Knowing the difference it the key to balance.

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